My Best Friend Is Gone

I get a call from an unfamiliar phone number early this afternoon. I usually don't pick up or answer calls from phone numbers I don't recognize, for it could be people and creditors I owe, an old benefriend, or anybody, but something tells me to pick it up. The person on the other end it's a girl and she sounds upset. She asks if she could speak to China Barbie and i'm like, huh? Cause China B has been long gone and only close friends who know my other name have my number. She introduces herself as Aiden, which sounds familiar. It's a friend of David's.

She tells me that she's calling about David, and I don't know what to think, and she goes on to tell me in tears that he is gone. I don't believe it the first few seconds she tells me, then when she continues to cry it hits me. I scream. I cannot believe it. Just a few days ago I had been calling and calling him and leaving him text messages - and I usually talk to him on the holidays cause since we're usually away from our families, we always chat a little bit on holidays, so i did think it was strange that I had text him and still hadn't heard back from him.

A few days ago also, i got a message from my Youtube account that he had just subscribed to my channel, cause i wanted to know what he thought of the movie (straight film) that i shot. But, now since the movie was done, I was aching to tell him that I wanted to finally write-finish the book about my life in the biz and what did he think of that as well--and no word from him. Now I know why.

I called her back cause I was just way to upset to stay on the line, and she told me that she and a few of his friends were cleaning out his apartment. My picture/business card was on his desk. All I could think of too was his poor cat. I remembered years ago when I lived with him in North Hollywood, when I first got into adult, he had a black cat name Moses, but years later Moses would get hit by a car and died and so he got another black cat, I don't remember his name -- but two years ago I had gotten the opportunity to be a mommy to a two week old black kitten and thought about Moses and David, and took the cat home. i"m rambling now. But David was such a dear friend. A special friend. We were so close, so tight. We were both East Coast, going to the land of the West Coast. He was my savior in a lot of ways cause I had gotten into so much trouble my first year in adult. Ohhh, the stories I can tell. But he was definitely the one to tell me to try to stay out of the biz and pursue my filmmaking dreams. Of which i am doing now. His one quote to me, that just changed it for me was, 'It's better to be a poor artist, than a poor pornographer'. So true. So true. My dear friend. I will always remember you David.